Afraid of Success

I think I’ve finally had enough. I think I’ve finally had enough feeling like pure shit. I’ve had enough feeling like I have no energy. Not feeling like doing anything for days on end. I think I’ve had enough of the depression and the anxiety. I’ve had enough of it consuming me. I’ve had enough feeling sorry for myself, and feeling like I’m just not good enough and never will be. I’ve simply had enough. But now where do I go? How do I pick myself up and begin that journey upwards? How will I even be sure that I can make it to that place. I’m not even sure I’ve ever been to a place of happiness and feeling truly satisfied with who I am and where I am. I’m always setting these goals for myself. Everyone says goals are great. But what if you’re the type of person who, when you get close to a goal you change it up and push the goal even further away. I’ve always been so scared of failing. But maybe I’ve always been afraid of success too, and that it just won’t be enough. Maybe that’s why I’ve never climbed out of this hole. It eventually got so comfortable and the top of it just looked so scary that I decided to settle in for the long haul. But I can’t help knowing that I’m really missing out on something big. My life.