Lost and Confused

Just when I start getting used to something, start to get over it...it creeps back up and haunts me. It gets thrown in my face. It crushes me. Makes me question every thought and possible form of logic I've had lately. I tried to tell myself it didn't matter, that it was all for the best. Yet, it still haunts me. It's still there. And it still hurts. It takes me from being confident in myself to completely in pieces. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to think. I feel like I'm continuously losing and I can't do anything to stop it. I've become a crazy mess. I feel as if things are too far out of my control right now...and I don't know when I'll regain control...