Heart Ache

My heart aches every time I see another photographer's work, some great photo, or read an amazing book. My heart aches because this is what I want. It's not like I want to be famous. I just want to be an amazing photographer and writer. I want to create beautiful photos. I want my breath taken away when I look at something I did. I want to learn. And excel. And just be great at this. I have this undying passion that I want to grasp and run with. I want to get out there. Put myself out there. My heart seriously aches for needing to get out there and do something with my life. Something I am passionate for. Something that resembles me and proves that yes, all these years have added up to something. That I have worked and succeeded. I'm tired of going in this endless rut of feeling like I'm not going anywhere. I look at the photos I've done in the past year. Yes, I have improved. Yes, I am learning. But I don't feel like I'm going anywhere with it right now. I just want to get out there. I need to get out there. I'm afraid that if I don't grasp it and take photography full on, I'll lose some of my passion, and my drive for it. I can't lose it. I've never felt such a pull towards something. This is what I need to do with my life. I feel like that huge life question has been answered for me and I just want to fulfill it. I need to...