Late Night Conversations

I'll admit it. I miss you. I miss you a whole hell of a lot. It's one of those "so close yet it feels like so far away" missings. And I know that's not going to change any time soon. But I'd rather it be like this than to even think I'm losing you again. The truth is, I can't say I'm scared enough times to get it out of my system. It's there, always haunting me in any way possible. But the other side of the truth is, I'm getting a little less scared each day. I'm discovering new things and thinking new ways. And even though I was scared I was losing you and might not ever get you in my life the way I want, I've come to the realization that the way it is right now is just fine. I went through a lot of thoughts(and a lot of tears) to get to this point but now that I'm here, I'm more stable than I have been in a long time. It doesn't matter how you're in my life, just as long as you always are.

im always going to be in your life

That's a thought that keeps me smiling before I fall asleep tonight...