Sunday, March 28, 2010

Where Am I Going?

I'm the type of person who likes to know the answers. Not only to my questions but to everyone else's too. I get this feeling of accomplishment when I give the right answer or good advice.
I also like to also have a plan. I like to know what is going to happen and when. I like things to be organized and set out.
I'm not sure why I am the way I am. I have theories but I'm not going into those right now. What I have been thinking about is that fact that all my (18 years of) life, I've been guided and helped along the path. I've gone through school, made it out(and decently I may add). I made it into college with help and pursuit of my own. That was all laid out for me in a way. Sure, I could have skipped college and tried to fight my way into a half decent job but that wasn't in the plan that was laid out for me(mostly by myself). Anywho, my point is, everything has been laid out up until now. The answer has always been there, waiting for me to approach it. Now, I'm waiting for the answer to approach me.
Where do I go from here? I have three more years of college. Then what? Sure, go out get a job(or a career I hope) and a place of my own. Easier said than done. There's always been some sort of path laid out. I've always known where I going(at least partially). And I have an idea of what I want to happen with my life. I've had little dreams. But I'm still not sure what is going to happen. Now I'm sure this is normal but I can't help wanting to know things like this.
So, I don't believe it is coincidence that New York City keeps crossing my mind in a variety of ways. I've had on and off again dreams of going there, living there. It was a "plan" of sorts for a while then I went back to being completely unsure. Now, it keeps finding it's way back into my thoughts. I mean, with what I want to do with my life, I need to get somewhere. Small towns will in no way get me where I need to go. And I am a city girl at heart. The adrenaline and life of NYC just excites me. I am pretty sure that I will be visiting there in the next couple of years(for a class). I think that that will help me figure things out better.
I can't help who I am...Someone who likes plans, likes answers, and likes going places.

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